Friday, October 19, 2007

One last thought (and it's long)

Brenda hits it right on the head when she suggests 'all talk and no do' will not achieve anything. It's just a shame that today's mommies and daddies have to put up with this kind of nonsense at all--as if there isn't enough to worry about.

I think probably the best place to start is in the voting booth--from the school board all the way up to president of the U.S.A. I truly believe there are probably more people who think like we do than not. (It just seems that the opposite is true here in NY because this is a predominantly liberal/democrat state. I'm sure you can guess, though, that I did NOT vote for Hillary.)

The other action takes place at home. I read somewhere that kids are influenced by their parents more than anyone else. I'd like to think that is true. We've had our 'rough times' with my four, as any parents do, but in the end they're all turning out to be great adults. We parents set the best example for our kids. That's one reason I questioned what kind of home life a 12-year-old has if he's already 'doing it.' Either his parents are overly strict and he's rebelling...or they just plain don't care...or something far worse (read: abuse) is going on. I'll say it again...behavior like this doesn't come from nothing.

Susie Q, I'm so happy to hear Gracie is enjoying her childhood to the fullest. With a great mom like you, she's well-grounded in what's right and good. Let me tell you a story about my daughter...

When she was in high school, she was very shy. Another girl took her under her wing. This other girl had some problems, but in general was pretty nice and never asked Katherine to do anything bad. (One great thing about my daughter...she has always been very open with me. I'm sure there were lots of secrets, as all kids have, but she told me quite a lot). For the record, this girl is our neighbor and I like her family. And I really like her, too. Okay, but there was a problem. See, once your kid becomes friends with someone, they are also exposed to that other person's 'friends.' And in this girl's case, the friends weren't exactly 'nice.'

My daughter truly was an innocent. She knew about things, but in her shy way did not know how to stand up for her beliefs. One day, a kid handed her a small bag of pot. Now, Katherine would never use the stuff, nor would she have anything to do with it. All she did was pass this little bag on to the recipient. It was in her hands maybe 2 minutes. That in itself was wrong, but I guess she thought, "I'm not using it, it isn't mine, so it doesn't matter." That's one thing about kids, they are far too young to think around all sides of things.

Well, the kid got caught with it. And guess where he said he got it from? Yeah, you got it. My daughter. A few other names came up, but do you think any of them 'fessed up? We taught our children to respect authority, and Katherine told the truth. She was the only one who told the truth...and it got her 2 months suspension from school for...get this...distribution.

It was an absolute nightmare time. I remember being in bed crying my eyes out, terrified my little girl (I guess she might have been 14 or 15) was going to juvie. We even got her a lawyer--who, by the way, was appalled by the fact that the school questioned my daughter and then kept her in an office three hours without a parent! Fortunately, there was no hearing, but if there had been we would have nailed them for doing that.

Learn something from this, moms and dads--tell your kids if they are ever in an uncomfortable position at school, they don't have to say a word without you there!

Okay, so let me tell you where this took my daughter. She was now no longer an innocent. It was hard for her to trust. But it also made her stronger and better at standing up for her beliefs. She became part of a group called Natural Helpers, in which students help other students. It was when she first thought she might want to go into law enforcement.

And she agrees that getting caught was a blessing in disguise. It was only a little bag. But if this had gone on, and she continued to innocently think there was nothing wrong with just passing something between two people, there might have been something worse involved--and worse consequences.

So, see, my kids aren't perfect. This was probably the worst thing that happened to any of them, behavior-wise. But in the way I believe Susie Q's little girl is well-grounded in good, so are my kids. As adults, they would never drink and drive or take drugs. They don't lie, cheat or steal. Every one of them will lend you a hand if you need it. And they have very definite opinions of what is right and wrong. We are not a religious family, but we respect others' beliefs. I don't think I did a great job with them, but I did better than a pretty good job, LOL!

If you got this far with this, thanks! And I'll be back later with Sew Crafty Friday...


Anonymous said...

Sounds like your daughter learned something from this.mine have all been threw lots in their life. April really thinks God has used her life to grow her. I do think what they learn at home comes back as they grow.I know each day I think of things my parents taught me. So small then,but great now.

Mom2fur said...

It wasn't so much that my parents taught me anything outright. I learned by example. My mother taught me to treat people civilly (sp?). My father taught me decency and integrity. Not to go into any detail, but I also learned from their mistakes how not to be. And believe me, my kids probably have learned both good and bad from me and my husband, LOL!